If you've read the MIRL blog before, you know that our site's founders set up Meet in Real Life for some pretty selfish reasons: we wanted new friends who shared our interests! All of us had great friends, mind you, but we all wanted new friends and activity partners in our area who we could go out and mountain bike, sail, work out, jog or hike with. Finding new people in this manner just did not seem possible on the various other social networking sites we are part of.

Of course, we all have friends from work or school, some of us have roommates, and I've even met some great people out at the bar! But one of the best ways to make new friends is online.

Here are some tips that have worked for me when making new friends:

Make a Plan. Tell your potential friend that you're going to get a pedicure on Sunday, or are going mountain biking this Friday, and ask if she wants to come along. Your friendship will kick off more quickly if you suggest an actual event and day. Lunch or meeting for an early morning coffee to "pick her brain" about some topic she's an expert on and you'd like to learn can be low-commitment ways to kick off a friendship, especially an online one. Once you get to know each other a little better you can pursue your mutual interests or introduce each other to your significant other(s).

Keep Your Plans, and Don't Be Late! This is SO important, especially the first few times you meet up with someone new. Canceling at the last minute or running chronically late sends the message, “I'm more important than you.” If you have a friend date, especially if it's one-on-one, don't cancel at the last minute unless it's a dire emergency. Call your friend as soon as you know you might be running late, and try hard to never let yourself be late twice. Your friends have lives too, and have probably moved their calendars around to accommodate you.

Be Persistent. If the people you approach about a potential friendship seem too busy at first, keep in mind that persistence (within reason) often pays off. Ladies, remember that guy who asked and asked, called and called, and eventually you broke down and went out with him? He was probably pretty laid back and low-pressure with his requests, and they didn't come often, but often enough that you knew he was sincerely interested. This bears out in friendships too. Almost everyone I know LOVES being invited to dinners, movies, parties, whatever. Most will probably be very happy, even flattered, that you asked. Keep it light.

Follow the Rules of Conversation. Be mindful and abide by a "give-and-take" conversational style: ask about her, let her talk for a while, she asks about you – and so on. Just as on a date with the opposite sex, never share your personal crises with a friend you're just getting to know. And never, ever gossip! This means don't talk disparagingly about someone who is not present to defend themselves. You truly never know when someone might be a mutual friend or acquaintance. Remember that gossips cannot be trusted: when someone trash-talks others, you can be sure they will be quick to divulge your confidences as well. This goes for both you and that new person you are getting to know.

Agree to Disagree. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Don't always weigh in with your opinion if the topic doesn't affect you. Just be a friend.

Become a Student of Relationships. This point will help you in all aspects of life, from family dynamics to your career to your friendships, new and old. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I highly recommend starting with the classic sales book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. His principles are just as useful today as when the book was published in 1937! His key points are summarized well on this website:

How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary

Another excellent resource is KeithFerrazzi.com. Keith's "check your ego at the door" advice is focused on business success, but there are some great take-aways for relationships of all kinds. I especially like his "principle of generosity": deciding to help with no expectation of payback or attachment to outcome. How refreshing!

In short, abide by this golden rule of friendship and all good things will come to you. "Be the kind of friend you want to have," and you'll have friends for life.